When your loved one is wanting a split or is distant , and you don't want it, there is a antagonism. There is bickering . There is real stress . I have invented the theory of applying the push pull strategy , where one partner uses the power, energy and weight of the other spouse to their own advantage, and to the disadvantage of their partner . We will not achieve good feelings with our souse as long as this feuding is going on, as long as you talk to them that you want something different from what they want. When the other partner is pulling away from you or wanting a split or wanting to leave, they are almost typically on the opposite side of any fence that they perceive you as being on. So use the push/pull. Agree with them. Now, here are several ideas and strategies all under the guise of the jujitsu technique. 1. You need to learn to Stop pressuring, cease complaining, stop criticizing, just stop it! 2. Try agreeing with everything your spouse suggests or does. You see, when one partner has a closed mind and is separating from the other, they are in love with their negative feelings. So they put their negative feelings in charge of the door to their mind. And when you try to reason with them, you're confirming to them that their negative feelings are incorrect. That causes their negative feelings to force the door tighter. You must attempt to agree with your partner's negative feelings - whatever they may be. "I agree, this union is hopeless." "Yes I agree, you will not be able to trust me. That is precisely correct." You must not defend yourself. Pretend to agree, act sincere, and be silent. 3. Try being real happy about everything. Enjoy your solitude. Take advantage of your freedom. Tell your partner that they are right - Agree with them, and be happy about whatever it is that they wish for . This uses the push/pull method , which is effective . But , do not do this for a short while and then go back over to your old pressuring self. Do not do it, it will never work for you. And don't do it early in a conversation and then slip back to explaining yourself about what you need and why you did what you did. Practice consistency with this. No pressure at all . Of course, this does not mean any contact. If you are separated from your other half, you can call and say hi , practice small talk and happy talk. Remember, the secret to this is, small talk, happy talk.
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